


I Will Love You Anyway

by Kakairuaddictwithapen



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cringe, Established Relationship, I edited it because it made no gosh darn sense as it was, I just love kakairu, Implied top Iruka, M/M, implied bottom Kakashi, kakairu - Freeform, mentions of Naruto - Freeform, slight angst, surprisingly romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 02:05:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19053061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kakairuaddictwithapen/pseuds/Kakairuaddictwithapen
Summary: (This was supposed to be a slightly smutty one-shot and ended up being multiple chapters with plot an stuff. Oops?)Iruka always knew Kakashi was in the Anbu Black Ops. He also knew they’d never speak of it. Iruka tried to tell himself he didn’t care.





	1. The things seen

**Author's Note:**

> Also, shoutout to CrazyLabRat. I was rereading your fic “Show Me...” (it’s one of my favs, and normally I don’t like first person writing! Check it out if you haven’t already) and I realized our front desk scene is *very* similar. I definitely got the idea from you and your story. So thank you.

Iruka always knew Kakashi was in the Anbu Black Ops. The way he moved, the way he was always alert and attentive in a way that his mostly covered face and seemingly lazy demeanor couldn’t quite hide. Iruka knew Kakashi was in Anbu, even before he had seen him naked, red tattoo bared to the world. That night, Iruka had traced the decades old tattoo with his tongue, and had relished in the way Kakashi shuddered underneath him. Yes, Iruka knew Kakashi was in Anbu, and he also knew they would never speak of it. Iruka tried to tell himself that he didn’t care.

“Maa, Sensei.”  
The way Kakashi used the honorific made Iruka cringe and prickle with want simultaneously. He saw underneath the underneath of the way the other man used his title. Kakashi had perfected the art of of unsettling Iruka without angering him to the point of shouting- shouting that would inevitably leave Kakashi sleeping on the couch.  
“Good afternoon Kakashi-San. Are you here to pick up a new mission, or are you just here to annoy the desk workers?”  
Iruka managed to sound fond, all while rolling his eyes.  
“You know me all too well Sensei.”  
Kakashi had also perfected the art of double entendres.  
“ I’d like to both if I can possibly help it.” His visible eye arched into a smile.  
Iruka picked up the registry, although the already knew what it said.  
“I’m sorry Kakashi-San, but I’m afraid you’ll only be able to do one of those things today. As you well know, you’re on medical leave for the next few days to recover from your last mission. Godaime’s orders.” 

Iruka had always insisted on using the polite honorific in public. Kakashi would tease him for it, what was the point in being so formal towards the man you had once stripped naked using only your teeth? Iruka would slap his hand over Kakashi’s mouth, rushing to explain his reasoning about the general public opinion and manners, but by then Kakashi would start to tongue at his palm and things would devolve from there. 

Iruka put the registry back on the desk. “I’m sorry Kakashi-San.”  
Thought no one else would be able to tell, Iruka could see a pout start to form underneath Kakashi’s mask.  
“Sensei, I’m well enough to take on a simple C or B rank.”  
Iruka let out a one suffering sigh. “Go home Kakashi- San. You’re low on chakra, you need to sleep and eat and then sleep some more.” Under his breath Iruka whispered, “ I’ll see you at home. My shift is only a couple more hours. Please rest Kashi.”  
Kakashi would never admit it, not even under the pain of torture and death, but those kind, soft words melted “friend killer Kakashi’s” heart. He was powerless under Iruka’s loving gaze. “Alright Sensei. I’ll see you around.” And with a *pop!* and a swirl of leaves, he was gone. “How do you get him to behave so well?” Genma’s head popped up from around the pile of paperwork that Iruka had been filing. “Jonin are scientifically proven to be mad as hatters, and yet you have Kakashi eating out of your hand.” A small smirk started to form on the other man’s face. Before the teasing could get out of hand, Iruka held up his hand. “The key, Genma-San, is to show no fear. Jonin can smell fear.” And with that, Iruka busied himself with his work.


	2. Anyone to Hold

It wasn’t easy being a famous, Kage level super nin. Kakashi had a record a mile long, and gained notoriety ever day. Although he had retired from Anbu, (or been forced to leave by the Sandaime who thought his time could be used better by training a dysfunctional genin team) he bore the scars from his time there. He had pushed himself, body and soul, mission after bloody mission, all for the good of Konoha. He was, after all, Konoha’s dog. Anbu missions had left him on edge and too suspicious for his own good. No one blamed him of course, a suspicious nature kept one alive when you took dangerous missions at a breakneck pace. But walking this knife's edge also kept him from relaxing, his shoulders tense even when he was home in his own village. Home, and with Iruka.   
Kakashi wasn’t sure how the Chunin teacher had managed to weasel his way into Kakashi’s life so thoroughly and completely. Looking back, he could see all the moments that led him up to being in love with Iruka, moments that on their own meant nothing, but taken as a whole led to life and love.   
Kakashi smiled fondly at the memory of Iruka yelling at him, in front of the Sandaime and dozens of Jonin teachers, all in protection of his former students. Students who had in fact been ready to take the Chunin exams, not that Iruka would ever admit that to Kakashi.   
And long before they had ever become his students, a troubled Iruka had sat on the bench beneath Kakashi’s favorite tree. He wondered how he could be a good teacher to the vessel of the creature that had done so mich harm. And yet, Iruka had found the strength to love the Kyuubi container, a bright shining boy they had both come to love. Seeing Naruto hurt sometimes, to Iruka he was the reminder of the monster that had killed his parents, and Kakashi saw the beloved Sensei that he had lost. But Naruto’s light outshone that, blinding them to only him and his new life to come. Kakashi allowed himself a quiet laugh. Yes, Naruto would make a great Hokage one day.   
But for now, Kakashi had to deal with a body that was mostly healed, and a mind that begged to be busy. Busy was safe. The quiet moments allowed the ghosts a moment to whisper in his mind, and Kakashi was so tired of being haunted.   
Instead, Kakashi turned his mind to something more pleasant, namely: Iruka. And more specifically, what he would do to Iruka when he got home from his shift at the missions desk. A slightly disturbing sense of domesticity settled over Kakashi. This feeling of family and home were unfamiliar. He was a cold blooded killer. He should not be daydreaming about eating a quiet dinner with his lover, before settling in for a quiet night together. Or not so quiet, if Kakashi could possibly help it. A quick glance at the clock on the wall told him it would be another couple of hours, and so Kakashi decided to do what he did best, read Icha Icha and insert himself and Iruka into his favorite scenes. If his many enemies could see him now… 

Iruka paused at his front door. Something was off. He’d gotten used to the unusual happening when Kakashi had moved in, somewhat haphazardly he might add. It happened gradually, first with an extra toothbrush by his sink, a razor in his shower. Once he’d come home to Kakashi giving four of his ninkin a bath in his already small bathroom. Kakashi and Gai could often be found standing in the walls of Iruka’s apartment, as Kakashi had explained it, it was a “home base” of sorts. He’d never formally asked Kakashi to move in with him. He’d just appeared one day, and never left. Iruka had somewhat gotten used to living with the strange man, but the noises coming from inside were not the typical sounds that came with living with Kakashi. It wasn’t the dogs, and it wasn’t Gai and his challenges given in frightful poetry. This wasn’t Yamato building new furniture in the kitchen. Iruka was used to the odd circumstances and sounds and smells that came with living with Sharingan Kakashi. This was something else entirely.   
Iruka slowly and quietly opened up his front door. He palmed a kunai from his holster and followed the tiny grunts and mutters he heard from down the hall. He expected an intruder, looking to assassinate Kakashi for his Bingo book reward. He expected ninja summons to launch at his throat. He expected an attack. What he did not expect was to see Kakashi, sprawled out on his couch, one hand holding his orange covered book while the other hand leisurely stroked at his swollen erection.   
He did not expect to hear his own name amidst the murmurs and sounds, sounds falling from his lovers lips. Iruka considered his options. He could continue to watch his lover bring himself to a pleasurable end with Iruka’s name on his lips, he could join him and make the most of an evening at home, or he could…   
“KAKASHI HATAKE I WAS ONLY GONE FOR A FEW HOURS!” What he did not expect was for his disappointed yell to bring Kakashi to a quick and almost painful orgasm. After a few moments, Kakashi met Iruka’s gaze.   
“Welcome home?”


	3. The Things Unspoken

Iruka has yet to admit that he loves Kakashi. He knows Kakashi can feel it, with every beat of his heart, with every thrust of his hips, with every press of his lips. But he has yet to speak the words aloud. Something tells him that Kakashi fears commitment, and Iruka can see why. Most of Kakashi’s precious people have left or died, leaving a guard around his heart a mile wide, and Iruka doesn’t want to shatter Kakashi’s heart if he tries to break it down. So he settles for salty miso kisses and the fear that comes with every mission Kakashi takes. He settles for the whispered, “Go, and come back.” as he hands over the mission scroll that might be his lover’s last. Even worse are the scrolls that Iruka cannot give, the A and S rank missions given out by the Hokage herself. There is no soft goodbye with those missions. Only a softly breaking heart.   
But they forge ahead. Iruka teaches eight year olds how to murder and hide in shadow, and Kakashi puts those teachings into practice. Iruka never tells Kakashi about the guilt he feels, placing the heavy burden of being ninja on such fragile shoulders. Kakashi never speaks about the missions he takes, even the ones Iruka has clearance to hear about. Instead, after dinner Iruka will grab Kakashi’s hand and tug him to the bedroom. On nights when the world is safe and all is well, their lovemaking is soft and slow and sweet. When their world is quiet, Iruka will touch every inch of skin he can get ahold of, stroking and soothing as if Kakashi is air and he is a man underwater. On nights like this, there is no need for teasing or begging. There is only the slide of skin on skin, and unspoken love thrumming through blood hot veins. These are the nights that feel perfect, and for just a few hours they can forget the world and focus on themselves.   
“Nothing could ruin this.” Iruka thought as he slid into his lovers body, planting a kiss on the ankle that rested on his shoulder. Kakashi’s nearly inaudible groan had Iruka panting.   
“Hold on baby, hold on…” Iruka wiggled his hips and thrust up, nailing his prostate dead on. Iruka let the moment consume him, in that perfect moment of connected oneness. No longer was it Kakashi and Iruka, but one contiguous being.   
Iruka was so lost in the tight heat of Kakashi’s body and the oh yes right there more faster harder feeling, that at first he didn’t feel Kakashi pushing at the arms caged around him. “Red.”   
That single word brought Iruka to a halt. They didn’t very often pull safeword, and never during “vanilla” sex. But Iruka stopped and looked into Kakashi’s face, only to realize that the other man would not meet his gaze. Kakashi pulled up and out of Iruka’s embrace, and quickly tugged on his pants. Iruka touched his arm. “Kakashi?” His voice betrayed his concern. In lieu of a reply, Kakashi just grabbed Iruka’s hand and pressed it to the tattoo on his bicep. It was hot to the touch.   
“I’ve got to go.” Kakashi’s voice was low and husky, and on the edge of breaking. “I’ve got to go.”   
As the he slipped out the window, he spared a glance at Iruka. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then snapped it closed. He simply nodded, a firm quick movement that conveyed it all. Whatever this was, Kakashi didn’t think he’d be coming back, and he wouldn’t leave Iruka with sappy last words.   
Iruka however, had no such qualms.   
“I love you.”


	4. The Things Left Undone

Iruka couldn’t sit still without knowing anything about the mission his lover had been sent on. He barged his way into the Godaime’s office, in the hopes that she would give him the details he lacked. But no matter how hard he begged, or what he threatened, the Godaime wouldn’t disclose anything about the mission Kakashi was on. She simply confirmed what Iruka already knew, that it was indeed an Anbu mission, one that even Copy Wheel Eye Kakashi might not come back from.   
Tsunade-sama gave Iruka a week off to process and grieve the death of a man still living. The village at large might not know the nature of their relationship, but Tsunade did, and she understood that the teacher needed time. Iruka spent that week wondering how he would have spent his time with Kakashi differently. He spent that week crying, and pondering how it was that Kakashi could leave his life just as quickly as he had come into it. He spent that week moping, and cursing love and his own fragile heart. But when Sunday night rolled around, Iruka packed his school bag. He made tea. He took a bath. The world would keep on rotating, and his life couldn’t just stop. The Will of Fire must be protected and proclaimed and given to the next generation. Iruka must keep on just as he always had. 

As Kakashi ran towards the border of the Land of Fire, he thought about that last look Iruka had given him. It was hard and smokey and dizzying and lovestruck and heartbroken. He thought about the words he thought he’d heard but maybe had just imagined into existence. Part of him wanted nothing more than to just settle down with Iruka, to give up the constant missions and injuries and hospital stays. They could buy a house, or maybe fix up the old Hatake compound. With Iruka in the house, it wouldn’t feel so empty. Maybe the ghosts would leave if Iruka’s life took up too much room for them to stay. They would plant a garden and make dinner with Naruto and watch the village from a concerned and complacent distance.   
And yet, being a shinobi was all Kakashi knew. He’d never had a normal life, he wouldn’t even know how to start one. There was so much red in his ledger, he hadn’t even dared to dream. But Iruka made him want to try.   
With a burst of chakra Kakashi crossed out of home territory, and into the front lines of the enemy. He allowed himself the burden of a promise, that he’d make it home to Iruka. He loved him too. Kakashi wanted to make sure he heard it.   
It had been three weeks. Three weeks of not knowing whether Kakashi lived or died, or what condition he was in. Iruka could do nothing more than hope by day, and leave his bedroom window open by night. 

Kakashi felt the strain on his body as the sharingan pulled at his chakra reserves. He had been forced to overuse the eye, intent on memorizing every word the enemy said, every more they made. They were planning to infiltrate Konoha, in order to destroy the village. Local intel said they already had a mole on the inside. They wanted to target Anbu first, and take Konoha out from underneath. This is why Kakashi had been sent. With his intimate knowledge of the Anbu and his ability to memorize and recall, he’d been the perfect man for the job. Tsunade had needed someone she could trust, someone who would get the necessary information back at any cost.   
Tsunade had held her reservations about sending Kakashi out on an Anbu mission, but she didn’t need a shinobi, she needed the faceless Hound. The village was in danger, and she needed a covert and ruthless spy to take the enemy down. She could only hope that he’d come home, or she’d have one angry and heartbroken teacher to deal with. 

Kakashi coughed up more blood he couldn’t afford to lose. He’d tended to his wounds as best he could, but field stitches never held well.   
The ringleader was dead. As were his right and left hand men. He had the attack plans, and the name of the informant and mole. He just had to stay alive long enough to relay this information to Tsunade-sama, and he’d be able to hang up his Anbu mask and crawl into bed, a bed that would hopefully have Iruka in it too. The urgent sting in his ribs and cut up his left leg slowed his progress down greatly though.   
Kakashi considered his chakra reserves. If he was careful, he could summon Pakkun to fetch (DOG PUN) medical help- and to relay the message back to the Leaf. He paid careful attention to the movement around him. He didn’t seem to be being pursued. And, as far as he was aware, everyone involved except the spy back in Konoha was dead. Odds were, he could take a break, regain some chakra, and have Pakkun help him out.   
Kakashi found a grove of trees to hunker down in, easy to escape but also well concealed. He nawed at a ration bar and thought about his next move. A little rest, some food, and no use of the Sharingan would allow him to use his summons, so Kakashi set traps and settled in for an uneasy sleep. 

Two months had passed since Kakashi had left Konoha. Summer break was coming up, and Iruka was busy with final papers and grades, as well as testing the few students who wished to take the graduation exam at the end of the year. Iruka kept himself busy from the worry, taking Naruto out for ramen, going out for drinking and dancing on the weekends with Genma and Raidou in toe. This past week, he’d also gone out with one of Tsunade’s assistants, Noboru. Noboru was a tall, quiet ninja, until you got some liquor into his system. They’d been running into each other more and more, as Iruka gave and filed paperwork to and from the Hokage’s office. The four of them had had some fun nights out, and it had helped keep Iruka’s mind off Kakashi, and the fact that he wasn’t back yet. Still, Kakashi was the best of the best, and if anyone could make it home, Kakashi could. 

After an hour on so of sleep, Kakashi felt ready to summon Pakkun. With a puff of smoke and a, “Sup, Boss?” Pakkun was running back to Konoha as fast as his pug legs could carry him. Kakashi followed at a slower, even keeled pace. Pakkun would be back with medical help in just a couple of hours. Just a little longer. 

Noboru threw down another shot. “Come on Ruka, just one more, it’s the weekend! Live a little.”   
Iruka, squinting at the nickname, and considered his drink. He’d already had three shots… and two beers. And although Noboru was right, it was the weekend, he didn’t relish the thought of spending his Saturday ridiculously hungover.   
“I’m good. I think I’m going to dance for a couple more songs and then head home.” Noboru looked disappointed, but set down his glass.   
“Let’s kill it on the dance floor Sensei.”   
After just two songs Iruka had had enough. He felt tired to his bones, and wanted nothing more than to sleep. Raidou and Genma looked like they were still having fun, and Iruka didn’t want to ruin their moment. He looked at Noboru.   
“Would you mind walking me home? I think I’m a little drunk.” Noboru smiled and shook his head. “Let’s go Ru.”   
Iruka mad it all the way to his door without much fuss. Of course, it helped that he had one arm slung over Noboru’s shoulders, and Noboru had his arm around Iruka’s waist. It wasn’t until Iruka had his key slotted in the lock that he realized how close Noboru’s face was. He could feel his breath, hot and slick, sour with the tang of too much tequila.   
“Say Sensei, how bout we take this…” He never got the chance to finish his thought, as Aoba had a hand in his shoulder. “You’re needed in the Hokage’s office Noboru. Immediately.”   
Noboru gave Iruka one last longing glance, and sped off towards the Hokage tower.   
Iruka whispered his thanks to the nin beside him. “Get some sleep Iruka-Sensei.” And with that, Aoba gently pushed the other man inside and shut the door behind him


	5. Tears left unshed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. So sorry to anybody who has been super confused by the pacing of the story 😂   
> It’s been about a month since I first published this, and I went back to read it... only to be very confused. One minute, Iruka is drunk, and going to bed, and the next he’s by Kakashi’s side.   
> Somewhere in editing I lost a whole chapter of this story, which I’ve since found and fixed. 🤦🏽♀️

The first thing Noboru noticed when he entered the Hokage’s office was a small brown dog. Tsunade nodded at him, and then glanced at the pup. “Go ahead Pakkun.”   
“Kakashi should be about fifty two miles west of here by now, he was about eighty seven when I left him. He is in desperate need of a field medic and confidant.”   
“Thank you Pakkun. Noboru, I’d like you to follow Pakkun and go help Kakashi; ideally heal him up so he’s well enough to get home on his own, but I trust you with the contents of his message if you are unable to heal him. Go Shinobi! 

“You.” Kakashi spit out the word like it was venom. “Of course it would be you.”   
Noboru laughed. “I’m here to save you Kakashi. Don’t you worry. You won’t make it back to Konoha, but I’ll make sure your message to the Hokage does. Oh, and I’ll take care of your precious Iruka-Sensei too.” 

Iruka woke up with a worse headache than he’d been hoping for, but it was nothing a lot of water and a few painkillers couldn’t cure. He expected to meet Noboru on his way to work, they’d taken to walking to the missions desk together in the mornings. He laughed it off though, when he didn’t see him at their usual spot. They’d had a lot to drink last night after all. Iruka wasn’t even sure he was quite ready to see the other man, his actions at Iruka’s door had left him unsettled. Sure, Noboru didn’t know that Iruka was a taken man, and surely the alcohol had made his judgement fuzzy. Still, Iruka was grateful for the morning walk alone to process it all.   
“Good morning Tsunade-Sama.” Tsunade returned his greeting with a nod, and a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Tsunade-Sama? Is something wrong?”   
“Iruka… I didn’t want to tell you until I had more information. But you’ve been waiting and I think you deserve to know.” She took a deep breath. “Pakkun showed up late last night, with a message from Kakashi. I sent Noboru to go find and heal him, and to bring him back safely home.”   
Iruka couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Kakashi. He was alive. And he was coming home.   
“Tsunade-Sama, permission to..” Tsunade cut him off. “Permission granted. Go help your brat.”


	6. On toward home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE. FIGHTS AND PLOTS ARE HARD.

When Iruka finally reached Kakashi, he wasn’t in good shape. Even worse, Noboru was no where in sight. Iruka wondered if he’d gotten lost, or maybe Kakashi had sent him ahead with the message, despite the fact that he was supposed to bring Kakashi home with him.  
As Iruka neared, he realized that the dark underneath Kakashi wasn’t darker soil, it was Kakashi’s own blood.  
Iruka ran as fast as he could before dropping beside Kakashi.  
“KAKASHI! Kakashi open your eyes. Come on babe, you gotta open your eyes. Stay with me.”  
Kakashi murmured something under his breath. Iruka tilted his head closer to catch what he was saying.  
“It’s him.”  
Iruka closed his eyes and thought. What’s him? What could Kakashi be talking about?  
“I’m going to look at your wounds, okay? Don’t freak out. I’ve got to lift up your armor.”  
Kakashi tapped him on the arm as if to protest, but he was so weak it hardly mattered. Iruka had just started to channel healing green chakra to his palms when he heard a voice behind him.  
“Well well, isn’t this sweet?” Iruka whirled around, and saw Noboru standing there. He instantly relaxed.  
“Noboru! Thank goodness. Kakashi’s hurt and I don’t know how we’re going to get him back to Konoha and…” Iruka’s voice trailed off as he looked at Noboru’s glittering eyes. Kakashi’s words came back, “it’s him.”  
“How could you?” Iruka’s voice shook with anger. “How could you betray your own like this?”  
Noboru just smiled wider. “It’s not very hard Iruka-Kun. When powerful people offer you lots of money, you take their offer. Betray the Leaf? Kill their most powerful ninja? Easy. You’ll be even easier to deal with.” And he lunged at Iruka’s throat.  
Iruka had no time to react. Noboru was on him in an instant, kunai pressed to his throat. And he slit without hesitation.  
*Poof* Iruka’s clone poofed out of existence. The distraction however, had worked just as Iruka had hoped it would. He had carefully scooped up Kakashi bridal style, and had laid him in grass and leaves to cushion his fragile body. He could only pray that Kakashi wouldn’t die before Iruka could get him home to the Leaf. Now that Kakashi was (relatively) safe, it was time to deal with Noboru.  
The shock of dispelling Iruka’s clone didn’t last long. Noboru leapt to his feet, and glanced around. He spotted Iruka to his left, just above his eyeline in the trees. “Gotcha.”  
Iruka wasn’t sure how he was going to defend himself and a half dead Kakashi against the stronger Jonin, but he was going to try… or at least die trying.  
Iruka mentally ran through a list of traps and seals, all while placing down what was necessary for a barrier around Kakashi’s proximity. He wasn’t the strongest ninja, nor did he have the largest arsenal of jutsu at his disposal, but he could do this much. He could protect his lover, and hopefully himself too. With a burst of chakra, he launched himself toward Noboru.  
Quick feint left, Iruka palmed a kunai and flung it towards Noboru’s throat. Although he was sure it wouldn’t even get close to hitting him, it did give him just a moment's chance, and a moment was all he needed to spring his trap.  
Iruka touched down, looking up at Noboru. He was positioned about ten feet away, from Noboru and his trap. All Noboru had to do was land on the trigger, and it would spring a seal- one that would bind his body, at least long enough for Iruka to finish him off. A part of him wondered if he shouldn’t take him back to Konoha to Ibiki. The head T and I specialist would wring every bit of information, and pain, from Noboru. But then Iruka looked back at Kakashi’s prone body, and decided he would kill Noboru here and now.  
Noboru touched down. Iruka forgot how to breathe. The trap sprung, and Noboru struggled, bound. He screamed obscenities with every step Iruka took. This was it for him. He could sense it.  
There was no joy in Iruka’s grin, nor malice either. Just cold, blind, justice. And then the world went black. 

Iruka cradled Kakashi’s head.  
“Hey babe. You still with me? Kakashi. Hey honey can you open your eyes for me? I took care of Noboru. Let’s go home.”  
At the word home, Kakashi’s eyes fluttered. “Take me home, Iruka.”


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s over!!

Iruka was snuggled firmly in Kakashi’s lap. Kakashi was home from a week long hospital stay, and was safely in Iruka’s care again. “Ano… I know I’m not even really supposed to know, and I’m definitely not supposed to talk about it, but…” his voice trailed off.   
Kakashi picked up for him. “Anbu?” Iruka just nodded. He wouldn’t meet Kakashi’s eyes. “Ru?” Even so gently, Kakashi lifted Iruka’s chin, so that he was looking at Kakashi. “I talked to Tsunade. She didn’t even want to give me that last mission- I’m not active Anbu. I retired before I took on team 7. But now,” he paused and gather his resolve. “I’m never going to do that again. I’m never going to put you, us, through that again. I turned in my mask, there won’t be any more Anbu missions for me.”   
Iruka couldn’t hide the tears in his eyes. “I know that it’s duty, and I know it’s our job, but. Kakashi,” He took a big breath, “When I saw you laying there, in a pool of your own blood, unable to even open your eyes, I thought that was it. I thought I’d never get the chance… to say how I feel. Kakashi…”   
“I love you too, Iruka.”

**Author's Note:**

> Heya! This is my first (and probably last) fanfic, and I’d love kudos and comments to let me know how I’m doing! Thank you so so much for reading.  
> Cheers!


End file.
